You are reading the archives for June 2010.
My quest for an intelligent, naughty and happy kid gave me so much insight, that I had to write this article.
Progesterone if injected in the early months of the pregnancy, improves the intelligence of the fetus!
Hmm, that was something worth researching and what better to do than this. So I read as many articles from as many search results. Then my doc mentioned that always check the medical journals for authentic reports than any posts on the internet, as many articles were just there by the companies to promote their products. So I became a member of the American and British Medical Journal. My brother in US allowed me access his hospital library too. A doctor classmate in UK helped by passing anything relevant from his hospital who were also researching on the “Letroz” sideeffects.
And guess what! It’s true. Progesterone taken by mothers preferably daily does make the baby more intelligent. The painful drawback was the hard lumps on the both sides due to 500 needle pricks 
. But I guess, once a mother, life changes and becomes more of a treasurer’s life.
The second thing that took my attention was the recent launch of edible almond oil which helps the brain cells, as it’s full of vit E and potassium. And since potassium is excellent for keeping the brain oxygenated, it’s called food for brain, like bananas too. Fish oil is another option but during pregnancy fish oil in capsule form should be avoided due to chances of mica in it. Only safe fish to eat during pregnancy is “Mackerel”.
At that same time Amitabh Bachchan’s cassette “Garbh Sanskar” was released.
So as a mom, I did my best to ensure an intelligent baby. Luckily, I could repeat the whole exercise when I was expecting my second son too. 
Today with the same pair of genes passes down to both the sons, with similar well at-least to a large extent same environment, I am amazed to find two very intelligent yet very different personalities.
My sons no doubt are proving that the progesterone injections, the almond oil, the mackerels and the soothing mantras do have their effect on the intelligence. 
But where do I draw the line of MY aspirations of having intelligent/ genius/ prodigious progeny. Today, I chose, rather with ease, to be content with happy and smart child. Having done that, trust me life can be difficult in this highly competitive world.
I chose to put my kids into a playschool where there was no high pressure. Where, even if they did not learn to write alphabets or numbers, they could still differentiate between less or more and between a cat or a dog. When they fight over bigger chocolate piece, I know their concept of size is fine. When they call each other animal names, I am glad they can differentiate between animals! When they hassle over what t-shirt to wear, I know they know their colors too well. And when they go and tell my friend in her dinner party, that “we are pure non-veg and will not eat anything veg, I know they know their EVS too 
.
It’s difficult to choose when every parent is pushing their kids to attend several classes to groom them into a smarter, more intelligent and perfect child.
Only when my kids ask me repeatedly, I make them join a course and soon they prefer to be at home with much more fun type activity that I do with them. They have gone to their painting classes for 3 times only out of a month, 15 days of football classes out of a 25 days, a month of chess class and two months of wushu classes in a period of 6.5 years.
Now, my kids have decided on their own. Chess is for the older one and karate for the younger one. I am more than happy.
Trust me I am glad that I am not pushing them to go to a different class every day. There are moms who are daily escorting their kids to swimming classes, voca-boom classes, drama class, football classes, piano classes, tennis classes !!!! The poor kids do not have time to live a normal child’s life!
Agreed they are too young to decide what is best for them, but they are too young to take on too many activities at one time! Not to forget the school and the tuitions some kids have to go to every day!
There can be arguments saying that if a child can learn, then why not?
Yes, if there is no sign of stress then a child can be exposed to various activities, but is there an end to it? Do we know where to draw a line? I have an intelligent kid, so I should load his brain with so much information that, after one point his brain too starts cramming up instead of learning it at a slow stress-free way! Have you seen how we all work when there is a deadline! We just remember one thing and that is the date of the final submission of the product, of the project of the presentation etc. At that point if we are overloaded where is the chance for us and our poor mind to enjoy the work we are doing! Well, the same holds true for these tiny young kids too!
I realized it when my 6 year old son told me one day, “ Mom, when you do two – three fun activities with me, I like it but after that let me watch TV.” I was surprised to hear this as everything that I did was what he loved ! So I told him, “I do what you love to do!”.“ Ya, but when YOU want me to do, not when I want to do it!”
OK point taken. So the fact remains that even if the child is a super intelligent one, the pleasure he gets in doing an activity is when he wants to do and not when forced upon.
There is no right and wrong answer. What I may find as “wrong” and give a winning argument for it, let me assure you, that, I can give an equally winning argument from the other side of the table with sufficient data. So the fact is to think from the heart and not from the brain only.
As young parents’ it’s important to understand what makes a prodigy, a genius or an intelligent kid.
Who is a Prodigy? A kid who has the ability do an activity at one third or one half the age that an average, normal adult is capable of doing.
So a kid who can give a maths exam meant for a 20 year at the age of 5 will be a prodigy. Or someone who can play a piano at the age of 5 years like an adult who has been trained for years is a prodigy. But do you know that prodigies are not in all the fields? There are some special fields only where the brain can excel, like maths, music, computers, instruments, memorizing stuff! Why? Because, these fields have a set pattern and can be repeated, howmuchever complex the repetitions might be. Any of these subjects which has formulas that can be repeated falls under the category of prodigy. So does that mean, that any field which does not have repetitions or formula will not fit under the prodigical category? Well as of now that’s how it seems. But human brain is capable of adapting quickly. Quickly here means over the period of generations! So if there is a trend of becoming a perfect politician in a family, I guess it’s manifestations in the genes can not be ruled out in future. And in that family a concoction of maybe outside genes could allow a prodigy in the field of politics too!
So what is a Genuis? Firstly, unlike prodigies, geniuses are not bound by the age factor. So any one who has the ability to perform any activity better than the average population, is a genius. So your child can be a genius at an age of 5 or at an age of 25 or 55! Of course here too a large part of the credit goes to the combo of genes that the genius is born with, but the chances of finding replicas of geniuses in a family increases largely as the source of the genes remains same, the mom and the dad (same partners to be precise).
Another fact that cannot be discounted is that practice improves the chances of becoming Genius. Have you tried giving MENSA test to check your IQ?
Every time I re take the test, my points go up! Why? Obviously, cuz, my brain was looking at a similar kind of questions and has learnt to answer them. So the time I take to answer questions goes down drastically, which is one of the factors used to measure the final IQ.
Oop! Did I just give away the secret!
Hmm does that not mean, that we all have the ability to become a genius? But then why do we all not become a genius. Why can not all kids become geniuses? Of course they can and will become geniuses, if enough practice is put in to any activity. But do we as parents allow that? How many times did we hear this when we were kids and now hear ourselves saying, “ Go and study all the subjects, if you have to pass and go to the next class! You can’t keep studying what you are good at or what you like!”
Well I don’t think any parent can be blamed for it. Our education system is so useless that it forces them and now us to make our kids learn things that will never be used in this lifetime. Or even never be applied consciously. The other day a few Bishops kids in 8std were at my house. I was teaching the fundamentals of floatation to my kids using their toys in their bathtub. So I casually asked the Bishops students, what is floataton. I must tell you I was sad after I heard their broken English definitions. SO I asked my son the same question. I went off to make popcorns. In the kitchen I could hear the conversation amongst three kids, two in 8th grade and one in 1st grade, discussing buoyancy and which toy would float and which will sink! Needless to say who was sure and right.
But if these same two kids are asked about football, I can guarantee they are an encyclopedia of football!
Inference drawn: If a child loves a subject, he will excel in it, whether any parent chooses or not.I And if as a parent, I can identify that one interest in my child, and support him to excel in it, trust me, I will make a genius out of him. But, but but….
How many of us willing to take that risk? We are so bogged down by the salary system, which demands a set way of functioning that we let our kids suffer now, and later too. And strangely, they will repeat the same process with their kids.
So in my opinion, to have a happy child around, I have to make sure they are happy even in their dreams. It’s not feasible to keep children happy always but if we can only indentify what are all the things our kids love and do effortlessly, we may have the key to their happiness and to ours !
I know it’s easier said than done. So I will not preach any more but just let you peak in my thoughts.
I have decided for good, no more forcing my kids into anything the show any disinterest. I will not waste my hard earned moolah on any whimsical classes that my friend’s kids may be going. I have pledged to let my kids live their lives in a lesser stressful environment as compared to the ones around their peers.
But to compensate I will be extra vigilant on their needs, their interest, their growth and emotional development.
As of now my younger one wants to become Spiderman / Batman and the older one wants to become a scientist who makes chemicals!
Well obviously there is some thinking that has to be gone here in to their latent desires and talents. I think my new venture SuperIndianKid should take care of it adequately.
This article has taken three months now. While conducting my workshop in December I had started writing and had reached the last paragraph. That’s when I realized how important it was for SuperIndianKid to take birth at the earliest!
Now after two months I am writing this article again, with more insight.
So what is Intelligence? Well now I have read so much in the past 60 days that I think I can write a book now! But will only summarize for the benefit of all. Intelligence is the ability to learn about anything from anything and be able to understand similar things. LOL.
Each human brain being unique will and must have different capabilities to learn about different things. So if a child is able to understand grammar in English language easily, there is high probability that he will understand any other language grammar as easily, including computer languages (with no guarantee on technical understanding). This intelligence is called Linguistic intelligence.
If a child can solve a puzzle, there is a high chance that he can solve complex logical problems easily in any field. This is part of Logical intelligence. These are only two of the eight other important intelligence, based on which, Indian education system labels our kids in each class!
The other intelligences which are ignored by the schools in India but are found in abundance in our kids are Musical Intelligence, Spatial Intelligence (craft, painting, imagination), Interpersonal Intelligence, Intra Personal Intelligence, Natural Intelligence and Kinesthetic Intelligence.
Why do we parents ignore the other intelligence in our kids? Is it because of the social need or is it because of the fear of the future security.
May be both. I am able to dabble into so many things only because there is a safe and steady source of income in my home.
Can Intelligence be increased?
No, the understanding level can be reached to a level in each child but cannot be expected to cross his threshold point. This point is also called as competence level. The simplest example that I face is with my maids. I have found that each maid has a competence level. Beyond which, any amount of extra salary will not matter in the quality or efficiency of their work. So there is no point giving them more salary when their output becomes a stable horizontal line!
So in case of our own kids it becomes our duty to find out what is the competency level of each of the 8 intelligence. Once we are able to assess this as closely as possible, we will stop pressurizing our kids.
So how do we do that? Simple keep increasing the difficulty level of any activity each time your kid crosses a bar. You will know the competency level once he stops progressing repeatedly week after week! Stop yourself from pushing your child hence forth. The key here is to keep a written track of each intelligence, each activity and each week as diligently as possible. Another key worth mentioning is that for each intelligence, there can be several activities. As a parent, you cannot give up by allowing your kid to try one activity per Intelligence. Your kid has to be exposed to a wide variety of activities, to finally get any indication of the competency level.
What is IQ?
This is most useless measurement I have come across. What is the use of judging one’s IQ if it will not be used anywhere? Have you come across any foolproof IQ test ever?
Like I have mentioned earlier too, I have taken MENSA test several times now. And every time I retake it, the result is better than the last one, for the simple reason that our brain has learnt to solve a particular type of question and will perform quicker that last test. So obviously the MENSA points improve and is useless.
Another reason I find it silly is that it is the test to assess brains known functions only. How are we humans so sure that each and every function of brain has been discovered by our scientists? Who knows how many and how much is yet to be uncovered under the skull?
It’s something like this. If you know English, all those who speak English will be intelligent as per your assessment. What about the language spoken by animals? Just because we cannot understand their language can we label them as dumb? If that is so, then, we are labeled as dumb by all animals!
So no more wasting time and energy on IQ tests and IQ talks.
We should try and find out how to be HAPPY.
Do we have a Ram Baan that finds happiness? I wish!
After my 40 yrs, I have realized, it’s the most elusive feeling and resides only in our own minds.
Today we are happy because we meet our long lost friend, then, everything seems happy and great.
Tomorrow, we break up and everything is sad and depressing. Physically nothing changed. Yet the whole world starts to look and feel differently.
The mind game makes us Happy one day and Sad the other day.
But the trickiest part is when we start forcing people we love the most, into doing things that we parents imagine will be best for our kids. We think that by making our kids join several activities, our kids will become all rounder. We imagine like the ostriches with their heads in the sand pits, that things will happen or not happen as per our wishes. I feel sad to see parents running from pillars to posts in the hope of making their kids’ Sachin Tendulkar or Dhoni or Sania Mirza. They are in turn turning their kids into robots. Going to schools by clock, going to tuitions by clock, going to activity 1 by clock, going to activity 2 by clock, watching TV by clock and sleeping by clock!
Their childhood is lost by clock. Their adulthood will be anyways by clock! When do they be Happy carefree kids? When they are seventy years old? I think its high time, we chuck the clock !
Can we stop becoming a robot? Can we take a few days and be humans? Can we take a few minutes of our robotic lives and be Happy?
On Saturday night at 12:00am, I sat down to cover the notebooks of my children whose new school term was going to start on the 7th June 2010.
The rolls of brown paper were a tedious thing to open and cut and then to fold the sides to finally cover the notebooks and the text books.
After 20 minutes of cutting the brown paper sheets, my back was talking to me in pain. I called my husband for help, while the kids were fast asleep. We both started to mechanically cut, fold and tape the brown paper on the big stack of notebooks one by one.
I remembered an incident when I was in 6th grade and I had never told this to anyone else. I told my husband how in that summer vacation, I heard my mom about how expensive it is to educate four kids, while she was on phone!
I quietly called my school, and spoke to Sister Emmaculate, my class teacher. I asked her if covering with brown paper was compulsory as it was expensive for my parents! She spoke to the Father of the school and told me that it was not compulsory to use brown paper at all!
I was very very happy that had I saved my parents some money and announced to my mom that this time we will cover with news paper only as the school said so! That year onwards the school announced that brown paper was not compulsory and preferably news papers should be used for covering the notebooks. I had no idea what was the implication of this decision on the environment as in those days, environment was still green. My husband looked at me with horror and said, I am glad you did not disclose it to your father that he could not afford brown paper, when he was head of the public sector unit then! I still think I did nothing wrong.
Two decades later, today, I think it will make a very big contribution to keep the mother earth green and healthy, if all schools decide to do away with the covering of the notebooks with brown paper or any other paper as a matter of fact!
Why should there be any need to cover the colorful and bright, hard bound notebooks at all! As it is after a month, they are torn off from here and there, giving the cover a shabby look. What is the need to hide the picture or the brand name of the notebook? The moment we cover the notebooks, they start looking so boring and lifeless. What is the need to cover any notebook? Can you think of any?
I guess when the paper industry was born, some bright marketing strategists must have thought of this brilliant idea. He would have done the calculations and found the massive revenue that can be generated if all the schools made it compulsory to cover the notebooks with brown paper year after year!
May be the company convinced the school authorities about the neatness and the uniform looks after covering the notebooks.
May be the paper industry jointly donated huge funds to various trend setting schools.
It might have not occurred to the school authorities then as to what could be the implications of their decision on the nature, but today we are the thinking Indians who have realized that conserving the resources of the nature has to be everyone’s primary concern.
The step can be as simple as not covering the hard bound notebooks but its effect will be humongous and green.
It would be more practical if the paper and notebook manufacturing companies, provide a label printed on the hard cover itself. That way the need for any extra label is also not there, thus saving the money and the time for the common people like us but a major conservation step for our mother earth.
Some would argue, that brown paper ensures more organized looks. But don’t you think, it’s the child, the parent or the teacher who is actually organizing books in any order! If brown paper cover ensure long lasting, why all the books in big libraries are not covered with brown paper! Those books are the once that are handled daily and weekly by several different hands.
May be its time we take a tiny pledge to do our bit by talking to the school authorities of either convincing them about the effect of not using any covers or of getting convinced that we are robots who will not think but only follow what has been happening since years!
Lets do some maths and see how this tiny decision will affect us and our nature.
How do we know the result of the act of not using brown paper?
The size of tree will naturally decide how many trees needed to cut to produce some X number of papers. But for the sake of simplicity, as per Paper Manufacturer Boise Cascade, when wood logs are stacked one next to another of the size of a square that is 4 feet X 4 feet, of the height upto 8 feet high; this HUGE stack of tree logs produces ONLY 90,000 sheets of news paper size; which is ONLY equal to 54,00,000 pages of notebook; which is equal to 27000 notebooks only!!!!
SO if each kid uses 10 notebooks maximum, only 2700 kids use that huge stack of trees in a year! And after all the calculation assuming there are 12 grades of 5 sections in a school, ONLY ONE school is using up all the paper for a year! Imagine in Pune itself there are close to 100 schools!
The maths of the whole brown paper to tree felling boils down to close to 20 – 30 trees chopped down every year for something that is useless, non practical and non essential.
I have not considered the plastic coating in this article, which in itself becomes a challenge to biodegradability.
Also there are brown papers manufactured from recycled papers which definitely reduces the tree felling by 60%.
There are many substitute raw materials which can be used for making paper, but which involves a total paradigm shift in paper industry, as it calls for entirely new set of machinery.
references :
http://www.qa02.com/life/how-many-pieces-of-paper-does-1-tree-make.html
http://www.tembec-frm-manitoba.ca/QnA.htm
http://ecology.com/features/paperchase/
I am also thankful for friends who contributed in the discussion on the use of brown paper: Milind Date, Paurnima, Aishah Shaikh, Manish Singh, Dr Vishal Gupta.
Dear parents, readers and children,
This page has been created to allow frequently asked questions to be Asked, Answered and Discussed here.
The questions can be about which intelligence represents which activity- which hobby to go for!
Where in Pune can I get good coaching for swimming for beginner level, or what is the average fee for the tennis coaching etc.
You could also ask, what are the criteria needed to be a world class chess player or a national level karate champ!
Is there any formal classes for learning clay modelling ?
Who is the authority for conducting Olympics coaching in Pune?
We at SuperIndianKid will try to hunt for the best answer for your benefit.
Milind Date is an ace flautist based in Pune.
A disciple of Pt Hari Prasad Chaurasi, Milind has proved passion cannot be suppressed for long.
He was kind enough to share very interesting points that every parent or kid interested in music and flute must know.
He started paying attention to the noise of the water filling in his mother’s kitchen at the age of 5 years. Every vessel had a different sound which intrigued him.
Milind Date is one the most down to earth celebrity I have met.
When asked why did he pick “Flute”?
He said,“Because Flute is all I could afford to buy to try out my passion for music and also it is the most easily available instrument in Maharashtra!”
Milind has completed his schooling from Tilak school and his graduation from Fergusson College, Pune. Interestingly this amazing flute master is all praise for Zoology department, as it supported his passion for flute! (The attendance was not strict.)
Milind is a ray of hope to all who have not found any guru yet, as he mentioned that he seriously started learning flute under the able guidance of his guru Ajit Soman ji at the age of 20 for three years. He would play for anyone and at anyplace. For Milind playing flute was like showing off is passion to the demands of his friends, college festivals, relatives’ functions, all for goodwill only.
Sudhir Moge and Ajit Soman allowed him 15 minutes of their busy schedule every alternate day and imparted the unsaid secrets of music.
His next guru at the age of 22 years was none other than Pt Hari Prasad Chaurasia ji. He would allow Milind to sit next to him and watch him even in big performances as he saw that spark that is the making of a passionate flautist.
Milind says that the best way to practice is by listening to the masters playing! Think and only then play the instrument. He emphasizes that understanding the music and its mathematics of the cord, the notes, talking to the masters is the secret to making of what he is today!
The next phase of the interview questions is what all moms will jump for; the secrets to understand before starting to get their kids trained for music.
He says that most parents encourage their kids till 7th std in whatever the child is interested into, but the moment the child comes in the 8th std, they get a warning, to focus only on studies, however good the child may be in his activity!
“In Korea, a dad bought his daughter a piano worth Rs 40 Lacs, when she was a teenager, to encourage her talent!”
Milind insists that the parents must assess their children before serious training is started.
“A good teacher may not be a famous performer, and a great performer may not be a great teacher!”, says Milind.
“Most of the parents look for their own convenience in settling down for a guru, which is indeed sad.
Talk to the parents whose kids are undergoing any music related training and get the feedback about the teacher. Find out how good teacher one is than how famous he is.” That is such a candid and eye opening statement from a man who dominates the world of flute.”
The talent of the guru and the ability to teach is all that is important. Name and fame should not be confused with the art of teaching music.
No, there is no association or affiliation in music that is needed to become a guru.
“My parents were against me getting into music, so I chose flute!”, said Milind with a big laugh.
The Indian Gharanas and the western music world both lay emphasis on the harmonium or the piano and the tabla as the base instruments for music . These build the concept of beat calculation which is the heart of any music learning. Milind says to be able to understand music to the fullest its natural that the child will pick up keyboard or tabla easily, and that will tell the parent whether the child should get into music at all!
The cost of these instruments as per Milind is also a deciding factor once the above dilemma is over. He said the range of the instruments is as follows:
Flute : Rs 1500 – Rs 6000
Sitar : Rs 1000 – Rs 10000
Guitar : Rs 3000 – Rs 50000
Drum kit : Rs 10000 – Above
Well in west, the most basic class for any music starts at $100 / 45 minutes to $1000/-60 minutes.
In India parents are luckier. The range is Rs 100/ 60 minutes to Rs 5000/ 60 minutes depending on the quality and celebrity status of the Gurus.
Parents initially should go for the average range of coaching by the assistants who are still learning under great masters. That will ensure good base and also a hope for getting trained by the master one day! (Wow that is a very valuable advice any parent would get!)
The hierarchy to go for is : Good student -> Best Student -> Guru
When the child decides to get into music, the parents have to be very supportive both financially and emotionally, as the earning follows the patterns of a doctor. For many years there may not be real good income but when it starts, it is in abundance.
People still ask questions like “what do you do to make your living?; Some one asked this question to the famous Tabla player Shaafat Ahmed ”!!!! Please do not weigh passion on the scales of money.One also has to put up with these blocks while paving their way to passion.
Parents must realize that instead of making their kid waste years of training where their passion does not lie, it would be better to support their kids right from the early age.
He said, he knows so many who are engineering pass out and now pursuing music.
“I used to travel from Pune to Mumbai every week with Rs3/- in my pockets, some times slept on the platforms, lived anywhere I could get free accommodation, just to be in Pt Chaurasia’s company. Such severe passion if seen in your child, parents please do not be a road block” added Milind.
Kids now a days are competing in their classrooms, at the sports ground, in the auditoriums, I doubt they have the time or the energy to practice enough. Everything is dependent on the time spent in practice.
The first step of any mom should be to assess the following traits in your 4 year old;
Well there is no age to wait for? I started at the age of 7 years. Many kids show their talent at the age of 3 years.
School and college grooming are very essential for all kids socially. Hence ignoring studies is not at all advisable to any parents. It has to be a balanced approach till the child completes the primary education. Most of the time the passion in the child will guide the parents into selecting the next step after school education. That is the time, you have to carefully discuss and decide what should be the step for your child.
For Flute, I can provide the coaching in advanced stage. For the beginner stage I think, SuperIndianKid will arrange for the able trainers. Of course, I am always there for all passionate music lovers who come through you.
I think there are no structured steps. Once the child starts performing well, winning various competitions, the child will be able to compete at state or national level competitions. Join renowned National Academy of Music, Dance and Drama as they keep conducting events. Now that SuperIndianKid is launched, a lot of questions can be answered in this portal regarding music and training. Keep in touch and will answer all your queries.
Thank you Milind ji for your valuable advice and time with SuperIndianKid.